Let's set the scene (2) - Rules of behavior

Posted on 4 February 2023

LET'S SET THE SCENE - RULES OF BEHAVIOR

Rules of behavior will allow us to successfully establish general or specific rules.

Once again, it is important to collaborate: sit down with your child and together agree upon the rules that we ALL need (parents and children). That way EVERYONE takes ownership and feel accountable.

What do we need to do in order to make sure that…

meals take place without incident?
People speak softly, are polite, behave well, talk about funny or interesting subjects, listen, are kind, have a nice table, or it should not to last too long, …
the meal at the grandparents is going well?
vacations are successful?
Examples: calm, sport, play, good meals, time alone, time with the family, time to read, visit museums, …

Establishing specific or general rules together.

The keyword is COOPERATION!

Setting the rules in cooperation allows the children to respect them (since they have participated in setting them up).

HOW TO PROCEED?

1 – For the general rules consider drawing a big flower: each petal will correspond to the need of a family member.

4 – Post a picture of the flower so that all family members can view it or add even a petal.

2 – When establishing a rule, take the necessary time to answer a question, parents and children can then share their needs, being reasonable and respectful.

5 – Once the flower is complete, you’ll be able to refer back to it:

‘Do you remember what we said about making meals go well?’

3 -Everyone write down their needs in a separate petal.

6 – Children (and teenagers!) will feel engaged and part of the process.

‘I know that parents both heard and respected me when I said that I wanted shorter meal time.’

If a child fails to cooperate with the rules that have been set, offer to review them with the child: “I see that you no longer agree with this rule of behavior: let’s stick with it for now and we can revisit it at the end of the week.”