Let's set the scene (1) - Structure or pace

Posted on 13 February 2023

LET'S SET THE SCENE - STRUCTURE OR PACE

Children need structure to mature: it is comforting, it helps them to be responsible, to be respectful, and to be independent …

With positive discipline, we pay close attention to creating the environment in cooperation with the child.

Structure or pace will enhance their feeling of security and comfort.

Knowing precisely the sequences of their actions, children will develop confidence, achieve their full potential and even take initiative. Structure prevents constant negotiations and repetitions: repeating the same sentences ‘a 100 times.’

It is very important to plan everything TOGETHER WITH the child : one set-up for the morning, another for the evening after school, another for the weekend, another for the day they have to tidy their rooms, etc

How to proceed?

Sit down with your child with paper, cisors, glue, pens.

Create a list of different things that must be done. Examples: unpack your lunch box, have a snack, play, do your homework, take a shower, put things away, set the table, eat dinner, brush your teeth, read a story, go to bed…

Create visuals for each task.

You can ask the child to draw them.

Let your child plan their own schedule.
Of course, it has to be practical: children won’t brush their teeth before dinner, but can unpack their lunch box after eating a snack or doing their homework if that’s more convenient.

Let the child order the images.

Once the routine is defined, stick to it by asking your child, for example ‘what do you have to do after eating a snack ?’

Instead of giving instructions, ask questions, avoid orders such as ‘you have to do your homework now !’ or ‘go take a shower !’

This way the child will become accountable for their routine and be independent!

If the child does not want to do a task, do not hesitate to remind with kindness and firmness: ‘this is the schedule you chose, if you don’t like it, we revisit it next week, but for now, we’ll stick to it’